This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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