there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
