I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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