No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
