Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
