so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest