i need an iv and a liver transplant
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
