what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
