Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We left the knife in your bed.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
