why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
