Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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