It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
