I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
