I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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