do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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