Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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