WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
