i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
