I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
