Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
