Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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