Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize