dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
