Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.