The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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