I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
