so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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