I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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