We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
