maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize