im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
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Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.