this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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