i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize