I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
