i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I believe in your delicious
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
