Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they need to just BURY HIM!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
