I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
