"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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