I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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