Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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