PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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