In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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