i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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