Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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