she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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