i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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