they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's like iHOP with fire
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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