Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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