woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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