I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
