I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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