mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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