You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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