i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Randomize
