I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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