3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
pray to the hookup gods
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
