I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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