Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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