dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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