if i died would you start the facebook group?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
