How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
