everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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